know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
