I just pynch a tree in the face
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
