My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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