bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
