maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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