I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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