People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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