God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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