In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
