That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
