Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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