you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
