I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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