who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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