Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
