Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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