you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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