Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize