apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize