I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
