it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
