I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She's JV to your varsity
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
