do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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