Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
