You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize