so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
