Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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