I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the day after is always just damage control
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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