Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The air taste purple.
Randomize
