The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
