Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
