TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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