the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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