I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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