dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
