Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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