when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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