Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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