told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
