So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
