I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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