I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
