I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
