surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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