So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
