I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize