I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
