I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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