We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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