I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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