Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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