yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
