she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
