Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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