end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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