What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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