i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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