We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
