My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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