drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
