look no pants
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
