okay pat passed out under dana's car
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
