u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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