This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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