Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
